Hellooo!!!!!! (out there...?)

I`m having a funny old few days...
It`s weird (but is it really...?), i am soo sensitive to what people say...sometimes i LOVE that, sometimes i hate it....i suppose in real - REALITY i am massively glad that i am that way inclined...i would really..well, HATE it that i WASN`T sensitive towards others. It just seems the norm to me...and that`s all...
I am REALLY missing Jean-Pierre too, what does that say? Am i ``in love``...it would be nice...and prolly needed! I LOVE being IN LOVE, that`s it...It makes me feel secure...special and wanted and it`s always what i need. `Coz i do not usually feel that way. He`s a sweetie, he really is. I just hate being so bloody English and incapable of truly expressing what i feel...and want. O, it`s crap really...but hey!
My good friend was peed-off with me too, sorry but i can`t help being me...

lol

S x

%-)

I miss my lovely Frenchman...he`s away working until Thursday, i will probaly see him then or on Friday...aww poor me...

S x

hello!!

I am a naughty boy and haven`t blogged for a bit - i slap myself WALLOP!
Actually been pretty busy on several fronts, new job at a Day Centre for learning disabled is good. Boyfriend (the sexy Frenchie - Jean-Pierre), is fabulous and could well develop into something more than a short `fling`, i hope so!! ;-)
But have also been searching for a new flat share as have to leave current one by June 12th due to landlord falling for me (O what have i done to deserve this?). So i have found a bedsit in Ealing which will do admirably. It`s in the roofspace, so has `velux` windows and although it`s on a main street is fairly quiet because it`s high up on the 3rd floor. I like it, it is cute and cosy. The kitchen and bathroom are shared with the rest of the flat, but are clean and decent enough. The others in the flat seem nice enough too. So i really can`t wait to move and get settled in....

S x

It`s been awhile and now i SMILE!

Well i have not `blog-etted` for over a week. WHY one asks!? Well wasn`t feeling too well Monday..so early night...Tues too. But on WEDS, I went out for what can almost be called a `blind date`. It was organised through gaydar and somebody else (ta C !).
So i went to `The Birdcage` in Chiswick, initially not noticing the handsome French guy in the corner. THen my mobile rang and a rather sexy French accent said `I`m in the corner`.....I went over, sat down, giggled alot nervously and at the end of it all after chatting and laughing until closing time (we were last to leave!), we had got along famously and were outside the immediate front of the bar. So we were saying goodbye etc and i decided `fuck it` and snogged him...very nice too! He`s a very good kisser which i always approve of!
So basically i appear to have got myself a rather lovely and sweet and also very sexy French man for a boyfriend - yes i said BOYFRIEND!! :)Me happy.....
On the other paw though...My flatmate/landlord has become ``obsessed/in love`` with me and has given me 1 months notice to move out!! A bit cheeky considering i have done nothing to warrant this treatment myself. So now i have the added hassle/shit of finding a share cheap enough and in the right area...so if in a few weeks i dissappear from the airwaves briefly you know what`s occurring!

hey ho...

lol S x

HMMMMMMM......

I Really MUST find out how to put a `comments` bit on here...then people can, well make comments on the crap i put up on here! Now wouldn`t that be fun! :-)
Oh and now i have a sore throat again!! Bah!

S x

Top 10 allbums!

In response to Cornelio i give u my top 10 favourite albums.....In no particular order.....

1/ `Outernational` - Billy Mackenzie

2/ ` Savage` - Eurythmics

3/ `We Love Life` - Pulp

4/ `She Was Only A Grocers Daughter` - The Blow Monkeys

5/ `Sulk` - The Associates

6/ `This Is Hardcore` - Pulp

7/ `Beyond The Sun` - Billy Mackenzie

8/ `Revenge` - Eurythmics

9/ `Realms Of Gold` - Dr. Robert

10/ `Technique` - New Order

O sod it! One more for luck!

11/ `Different Class` - Pulp

Love S x

More songs.....

How many sorrows
Do you try to hide
In a world of illusion
That`s covering your mind
I`ll show you something good
When you open your mind
You`ll discover the sign
That there`s something
You`re longing to find

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again

Cruel is the night
That covers up your fears
Tender is the one
That wipes away your tears
There must be a bitter breeze
To make you sting so viciously
They say the greatest coward
Can hurt the most ferociously
But i`ll show you something good
If you open up your heart
You can make a new start
When your crumbling world falls apart....

Miracle of love-Eurythmics

Love me Love me Love me say you do
Let me fly away with you
For my love is like the wind
And wild is the wind
Wild is the wind
Satisfy this hungriness
Let the wind blow through your heart
And wild is the wind
You touch me and i hear the sound of mandolins
You kiss me and with your kiss my life begins
You`re spring to me
All things to me
Don`t you know you`re life itself
Like the leaf clings to the tree
Darling cling to me
For we are like creatures of the wind
And wild is the wind
Wild is the wind
Wild
Is the wind

Wild is the wind - Various (Nina Simone/Billy Mackenzie/David Bowie)

Who loves you
Who wants to go through this life
And have you here
Who knows what you are afraid of
Who knows that life is cruel
Who knows it best
Who knows you

Who goes through what you do
Understands the worlds contempt
But wants you - just for you
Who`s here alongside you
Who does it best
Who loves you

I`ll go with you

I`ll go with you
Through stations, through
Places filled with millions who cause distress
Who knows what will become of us
Why wouldn`t i want you
Who else is there that loves you

Who loves you - McAlmont

More later on..........

S x

Bank Holiday Monday - whoo!

Not the most exciting of b/h Mondays. I was expecting to meet friends in the latter part of the afternoon - of course the phone didn`t ring or ping so that didn`t happen. It has been a most dull day. The only living creature i spoke to all day has been `Warszawa`, one of my flatmates cats! Even he was disinterested and scuttled off sharpish....o dear, i am a bit maudlin today. As i was walking back from the supermarket i saw Jakub (last boyf`), walking towards me. He obviously saw me and managed to dart into a sweet shop. How nice of him to avoid me so obviously.....what a c***t.....haven`t had a single email today either.....feel like i`m dissappearing!
It can only get better.....

S x

Hmmm.....

It just occured to me that the pills i have just taken taste of `purple`....not entirely sure why (!!??!!)
Strangely `nothing` sort of day. What did i do? Well i did a little bit of highly un-exciting food shopping this afternoon, bumped into an aquaintance and had a brief drinky (a glass of very nice white wine), and sat in the sunshine for a little while. Made dinner, tidied up me space and chatted awhile on Msn to me lovely friends and met lovely Mands et al in the evening. Now i adore Mands, shes probaly my oldest friend. But it didn`t feel `right` for some unknown reason. Don`t know why.....
So now i`m listening to Lamb `Fear of Fours` - one of my fave` `chill` albums having just popped me pills....and i STILL feel a little odd, kind of uneasy...but god knows why...do i self anylise too much? I dunno......

S x

Europe expands...

The European union expands to 25 today, as usual all the twat Brit` press can do is `warn` us of the apparent hordes of Eastern Europeans that are `flooding` over to `take our jobs` (i`m surprised they don`t add women as well!). The press here is so ignorant and sensationalist. The expansion eastwards can only really be benificial to all...so to me it is a historic and important day. Welcome .

S x